I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
