Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
