So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize