He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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