My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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