Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
