Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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