remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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