You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
