is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
