maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
