I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I said "one day" and that day is not today
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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