i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
