At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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