By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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