and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize