Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
