You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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