I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
