brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize