I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I will pee on everything he values.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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