Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
