I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
