where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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