I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
