And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
