this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
