I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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