arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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