come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
