i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
