i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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