38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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