I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
