I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
