You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
