You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
