the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
