He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
