Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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