Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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