Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
