Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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