did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
soo... how was my night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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