I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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