If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
