I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
