love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Randomize
