I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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