i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
