I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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