I want to stick my p in your. b.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
