having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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