ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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