I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
