Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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