I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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