no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
