Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
