Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sarcasm needs its own font
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
