Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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