Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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