that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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